We all know Santa is a very jolly and busy guy. Soon he will be visiting children all over the world. He has help from his team of reindeers, elves, Mrs. Claus, but also his friends at Welch Care, who remind him to take his wellness seriously.
We know how many yummy cookies are left for Santa to eat all in ONE night and how few hours of sleep he gets, delivering presents to kids all over the world. So, he trusts his friends at Welch Care to keep him in tip-top shape and super healthy. He can’t afford to lose his valuable time at overcrowded urgent care centers, or risk getting exposed to Covid, Flu, Strep, or RSV waiting in those crowded places. And as much as Santa loves the color red, he prefers to only wear red in his clothing, not in his eyes due to bacterial conjunctivitis! He adores steaming HOT Cocoa, but he doesn’t want to feel awful HOT from a fever!
Santa knows time is of the essence, and his day is often unpredictable, so he prefers Welch Care. This clinic allows patients to simply go online and self-schedule a needed visit the very same day. The flexible convenience has taken a lot of stress off of him. He is a current member of Welch Care, so he is able to have unlimited visits for a flat rate. He can also include Mrs. Claus in this membership. They love this option as their family had a high deductible Insurance Plan and they utilize their HSA card for visits.
He knows he cannot keep the children of the world waiting for him! His time is valuable! Plus, Reindeer can grunt and stomp if Santa keeps them waiting.
Even Santa knows how important it is to have a complete annual physical to prevent sickness and to be at his best. Santa and Mrs. Claus usually eat a well-balanced diet, taking in good protein to maintain his muscle mass. When he comes to the office, I tell him it looks like he’s been living at the “north swole”! He has been using Santa- tizer to prevent winter virus. He has been brushing well and using Santa- floss. Did you know that Mrs. Claus and Santa do laps around the north pole and do karate twice a week? Now he has a big black belt!
Although Santa’s big belly is part of his charm, Santa knows that having an unhealthy weight and BMI puts him at risk for HTN, diabetes, and stroke. So I will proceed to have his blood pressure checked. The only high-pressure Santa needs is to not get caught by children when he puts gifts under the tree!
Santa then has his heart checked. Santa’s heart has been known to sound like jingle bells, so he will need a full cardiac workup. Glucose will need to be checked to ensure that he is not sluggish for his big night. We know he likes to eat a little bit of sugar over the holiday… Santa does wear glasses; we will have to double check his vision so we can make sure he has a good, quiet, safe landing on your roof. Lastly, I will listen to his lungs very carefully because Santa has occupational exposure to soot and chimney smoke.
It’s a big thorough workup, but Welch Care makes it convenient for Santa. As their employer, Santa also sends his elves for checkups on membership rates! He takes care of his employees… He doesn’t want to end up on THEIR naughty list.